Late-Night Hosts Mourn Elizabeth Warren’s Campaign Exit: ‘America Can’t Have Nice Things’

Scott Kowalchyk/CBS
Scott Kowalchyk/CBS

The left-wing late-night hosts mourned Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s (D-MA) decision to suspend her presidential campaign on Thursday after her disappointing showing in the all-important Super Tuesday primaries.

Once considered a frontrunner, Warren announced outside her home in Cambridge, Massachusetts, on Thursday that she had not garnered enough support to continue having failed to win a single state including her own. Warren added that she would need time to think before deciding who to endorse.

“One of the hardest parts of this is all those pinky promises and all those little girls who are going to have to wait four more years,” she said. “That’s going to be hard.”

Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, and Seth Meyers were among the hosts to bemoan Warren’s exit, even suggesting it was a result of misogyny rather than political competence.

“Folks, I’m afraid I have sad news for fans of competence,” said Late Show host Colbert. “The onetime frontrunner Warren made the classic campaign mistake of being able to finish a coherent sentence. And not having a penis.”

“Further proof that America cannot have nice things,” he added.

Over on the Daily Show, Trevor Noah blamed the supposed sexism Warren faced throughout her Democrat primary campaign, complaining that the race is now between “two old white men” in the form of former Vice President Joe Biden and Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VM).

“That was some truth she dropped there. A woman addressing sexism, or ignoring it while running for president, is either gonna be seen as a whiner or living on another planet,” Noah said. “Whether you think sexism played a role or not, you have to admit, it’s pretty strange that a race that started with a broad tapestry of candidates is now basically down to two old white men.”

Meanwhile, Late Night host Seth Meyers said that although he regretted Warren’s exit, he was happy she no longer had to deal with the scrutiny of running a presidential campaign.

“It kinda feels like when your favorite teacher retires,” Meyers explained. “You’re sad to see her go but also happy for her because she doesn’t have to deal with your annoying classmates anymore.”

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